Of teeth and other traumas

Today in preparation for my dentist appointment I was able to sleep in, but the extra zzzs did not make up for the day as it evolved. First an uneventful trip to Yarmouth to have my emergency dental work done. This meant that due to students and the uniqueness of having my bridge cleaned, reset and re-bonded I became a temporary celebrity as a crowd gathered to watch. I didn’t know it was a spectator sport but I am always good as an example because the most unusual things happen to me I tell them. After I am subjected to packing, grinding, cement, pushing, drying and poking for an hour it’s all finished - with no guarantee of duration as re-bonding doesn’t have the same success rate as the initial bridge work. I already have invested heavily in ibuprofen and the dentist tells me that the tooth is likely to be sensitive for a week to ten days. When I settle the bill, the receptionist tells me that insurance pays for everything except only 80% of the cement. I tell her I’m happy to pay the $12 and have all of the glue hold. Leaving with a frozen, puffy right upper face area I head out on the 1.5 hr. drive to work.

I arrive at noon time to find that the renovations have begun on the patient care wing. This means I’m greeted by a large orange barrier room with negative pressure in the center of the hallway, unknown persons working in and out of the containment area from an abatement company in the city and a technician from another company supervising the setup. Needless to say the nursing staff are a bit testy, and who can blame them? In the middle of this turmoil the patient census is up as there has been a management decision not to restrict admissions. This in addition to the regular workload and extra requests made. The fact that this is Nurses Week seems a bit hollow. I have a couple of meetings where I manage to contribute as if I’m suffering a stroke with my muffled speech as my jaw begins to thaw and really throb. I attempt to catch up from my 1.5 day absence from the office - not likely.

I check email during the day to find a message from a friend announcing they are going to be grandparents again and are very happy. That’s wonderful for them. Me? I’m happy that I’m NOT a grandmother yet. In fact that’s about the only thing I can say with certainty I’m happy about today. Nothing to do with not feeling old enough, the offspring just need to get established. I’m reminded that 15 yrs ago I’d seen former classmates from high school with grandchildren who were only a year younger than my own children. Can’t imagine it.

When I arrive home I let the felines out into the veranda for a bit of R&R and what do the little beasts do but knock over the onyx chess set I bought in Mexico, chipping two corners off. And I thought once the kids were bigger I wouldn’t have these kinds of disasters. So after having a major fit (which the beasts run from originally then ignore) I retrieve the board and place it on the windowsill in the living room where security is better. Looking at the chess board makes me remember that my travel partner is just back from Cuba and I'm guessing she had a blast - wow, wish I were able to be writing that!

I’m discussing the ‘how long before I can retire’ situation with the life partner and he remains non committal. I ask him if this is because he’s caught in the same purgatory as I am or that my options are limited in the rural situation I’m in? He replies “a little from column A and a little from column B” I remind myself of the wonderful quality of (non work) life we have here. How many places can you look out your living room window while eating your breakfast and see a great blue heron ambling along the rocks in front of your house? Those sunsets are amazing and the returning waterfowl this time of year are a bird watchers dream. In practical terms I will HAVE to work until baby daughter graduates with a Bachelor of Nursing four years from now. Those who state they are going to work until it isn’t fun anymore or they don’t enjoy it are not a good measurement for me as at present neither of those markers would keep me from running. The rather depressing calculations equate to at least 42 months (minus 6 months of vacation in there - that sounds better) of gainful employment. Sigh.

I think the fact that one of the participants at the writing workshop was describing a mission she and her husband had done in Bolivia about 10 years ago was to blame for my unsettled feelings towards my work situation. It sounded tough but extremely satisfying to be working in a developing area and they had such a great experience together. Got me post retirement dreaming.

I took the dog for a walk and noticed that construction at one of my summer neighbours has begun so I headed home for the camera to document the progress. I feel like one of those nosy old neighbours doing the spying on the (excellent) contractor. I’m reminded of a summer evening 33 years ago when I had just graduated from high school and my future spouse and I were walking hand in hand down the road in his community to baby sit for his uncle for the evening. As we passed by his neighbour’s house I felt eyes watching and glanced over to see someone staring at us out the window, following our progress down the road. I said “that woman is watching us” and he replied “well, I’m 18 years old and I’m going to tell you that there hasn’t been very many times in that many years when I’ve walked down this road that Blanche hasn’t stared out the window at me, the fact that you’re with me tonight just about guarantees it” and we continued on our way. Now those were the days.

I’ve baked banana bread in honor of nurses week for the staff room and made a card. Sometimes the little gestures are more appreciated (if sincere) than flashy administrative public demonstrations that ring hollow. Am glad that I’m contemplating retirement, even if it is a bit in the future, than starting out in nursing now.