A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, "Steve's Place,"and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in theirpockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, "Whythe spoon?""Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked thewaiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?""Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%. I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?""Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use thespoon."
Last night was a very busy shift here in this house with lots of folks arriving and leaving all night. The boat had to be put on the slip at 10 p.m. followed by a call by the #1 son’s girlfriend asking where he was, followed by her mother asking where she was, followed by the arrival of both of them. Then there was the father and son departure at 4 a.m. to remove the prop, followed by a call at 5 a.m. asking for the phone number of a local small time crook who fishes in the area – this later turned out to be because the ‘word on the street’ was that he had a tool called a wheel puller. Well if he had one (which it turns out he didn’t) it wouldn’t have been his or he’d have been using it to lift brass props (which are quite expensive per lb.) And anyway I managed in my sleep induced / middle aged vision state to give the Capt. the wrong phone number (meaning he woke some other poor person up at that hour) so he phoned right back and I found the correct one before crashing unconscious back to bed. Apparently after another missed lead and then a correct tip a wheel puller was located but by then…. the tide had risen so the wheel couldn’t be removed. A return home at 6 a.m. to put soaked clothes in the dryer, boots in the boot dryer (greatest invention ever made) and cold feet on the wife (½ hr before she had to get up for work) before falling sound asleep completed the scenario.
Apparently early this a.m. another fisherman offered a replacement prop, which fit exactly and so the game continued. The prodigal son continues to be of excellent assistance, which has been a gift. If he’s chosen a week in which to act very mature this was a great one. As I mentioned to his father “it’ll be harder to deal with when the other boot drops though”. It was a daylong group effort to remove the damaged wheel and replace it, which was finally accomplished by suppertime with plans for the son to take the boat off the slip and over to the wharf at midnight tonight. The weather was really stormy today so there was no loss of a day to haul traps and they’re ready to go for the morning. Certainly a hectic start to the season but a better outcome than others I can think of. So the lunch is made, breakfast and dry clothes are laid out for 4 a.m. and the cycle continues.
As a positive note to the day there was an email with news from the baby daughter of a mark of 71% on her first nursing term paper, which by any measure is not too shabby as she’s just learning how to be a nursing student. But combined with the explanation that there was a 46% fail rate (the prof must be a real hard nut) it was excellent! Her grammar is much improved on her English papers as well so lots of progress.
As well since I received a great holiday collection of Maxine cartoons (my all time favorite cranky old lady) I’ve decided to share them one per day in the lead up to the season. Enjoy.
