Wednesday, July 4, 2007

A sense of humor

It appears that the lengthy list stuck to the fridge with a magnet may be shortened due to a negotiated settlement. When discussing what tasks ‘needed’ to be done at camp such as painting the exterior etc. I advised the camp master that in order for me to become an indentured servant at the vacation home there would have to be some work done on the ‘to do’ list which has been growing for the past year for the house we actually live in. I used as an example the flower beds in front of the house. I was surprised/pleased to come home from work and find him perusing a brochure for masonry garden walls - here is the online version:

http://www.shawbrick.ca/gs_garden_walls_gallery.aspx

So there is hope of some revitalization of the finishing process. Priorities are becoming reordered as I found an invoice for said materials. Now the Martha Stewart plan has extended to the exterior as the suggestion I made for granite like materials has apparently been subjugated to the terra cotta preferred by the designer / purchaser.

Today I dropped in at the nursing home next door to visit Mom (not so good) and the baby daughter (doing well) and chat with the staff. As I passed the gift shop, daughter # 3 was approached by one of the residents (paranoid schizophrenic) who cheerfully requested “a pack of Players Light please”. Now there is no sale of smokes in health care facilities or smoking in public places in our province so the daughter says “no, we don’t sell those”. Not to be discouraged he checked the shelves as if she was joking and again said “a package of Players Lights please” to which she replied “we don’t have any and if we did I’m not old enough to sell them to you”. He stopped momentarily and said “you really don’t have them do you?” with a disappointed look. “Nope, we don’t, sorry”. He turns to me and says “well, I guess I’ll just have to quit then” and wandered back into the lounge. Apparently he’d forgotten he already had. The ward clerk was telling me that when his suspicion index was up he became concerned as he noticed one of the residents was behind him in her wheelchair so he casually sauntered up to the desk and said quietly “I think she’s following me”. The ward clerk explained she was just confused and wandering so he considered the situation and then returned shortly to say “I’m just going to take her for a spin around here ok?” and disappeared down the hallway. When they returned he advised “I’ll just take her up to the big room with me if you want us” and headed for the lounge. Now how you get from being stalked to a companion I’m not sure but it’s a good symbiotic relationship.

I spent the afternoon arguing with an employee who has retired but remains at work and is attempting to modify their job. Please someone provide me with some insight into my behavior should I begin to engage in these practices. The most recent crusade is to not have to assist in the in patient care area and to meet this goal…an indoor air quality complaint about the renovation project. I stated I did not dispute the reported symptoms but the air quality measurements were better than the usual air so there was no objective evidence to support the claim. This brought loud protestations of refusal to work in this area. I calmly stated “you are refusing to the wrong person, I don’t pay you, you have to take this up with your manager as there is no proof the air is not good”. This was not a popular position as you can imagine. As the volume increased a promise of “I most certainly will” was made. Air quality is such an interesting issue I thought as I watched the maintenance crew working away on the project. After that even crunching the numbers for the annual report didn’t seem as onerous a chore.

A phone call to daughter # 2 this evening re: mumps situation of the room mate. Daughter not in (out socializing) but her boyfriend says "oh yeah they're ok, they went away now he doesn't have them anymore". When questioned as to blood work "no idea". This would give you an indication as to why the Generation Y group have been having such issues with this mumps outbreak 1) they exchange saliva frequently 2) they live in the moment 3) are not concerned about possibilities as they are sure everything is going to be ok 4) do not plan ahead. Hopefully their stars are lined up in a row so we don't have wailing and gnashing of teeth with a quarantine situation.

Since humor is an important therapy, I leave you with the following funny:

PHYSICAL EXAM


An eighty-three year old lady
Finished her annual physical examination,
Whereupon the doctor said,
"You are in fine shape for your age,
But tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

"Just a minute, I'll have to ask
My husband," she said.
She went out to the reception room
And said: "Bob do we still have
Intercourse?"


Bob answered impatiently,
"If I told you once,
I told you a thousand times...

We have
Blue Cross!