Back to...reality

Well, it's been a week and a long one at that since I've updated you. And the one ahead is promising to be pretty hectic too with three on the road days and playing catch up as well.

On Saturday after picking up daughter # 2 in Halifax and dropping off lobsters to air freight to daughter # 1 in Calgary I was deposited at the terminal and linked up with coworkers for our trip to Montreal. We had a busy five days of conference, shopping and eating. But no matter how wonderful the schedule it's still a business trip which means traveling with folks you don't choose yourself. The Hyatt was overpriced and without a restaurant and the pool was closed for repairs. Enough said.

I was glad to be home when Thursday evening came and even more pleased to have Friday to catch up - gotta love those three day weekends. And I sure needed the time to sort mail, messages and catch up around the house. Saturday was the local town wide yard sale and I scored big - two large almost new suitcases for $5 total, a folding lounge chair for $7, telescope for $5, plants, antiques, dishes, books within two hours. The place was hopping and I could've kept going but had reached my $35 limit so gave up on the waterfront and auction and...picked up groceries then headed home.

Today has been a glorious day, so the plants got planted, the crushed stone got levelled, the mosquito magnet got started, the venmar was cleaned, the outboard got fiberglased and the laundry dried beautifully. Summer has arrived as the old guy and I were able to eat our supper on the deck until the blackflies appeared so dessert was inside. The cats have been June bug hunting - ugh. Doesn't get much better than that here.

I leave you with a smile sent by my birthday twin and it is especially amusing as apparently the only son was telling me that his Dad was "living like a bachelor" while I away which is interpreted as picking up a pizza and beer when he went to the post office to get his parcel from Cabela's (sporting goods company with bow hunting equipment) and a trip to the local drive in:

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight,shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother! After you get done laughing,send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it. Just don't send it back to me.... I'm going to bed